sometimes, i really don't understand how people works.

i appreciate some initiative

when i take the initiative to contact you,

why couldn't you just give me an answer.

and i even had to ask for 3 days before i got one!

and by the time i got one, it was too late already.

how can you be trusted this way?

so what if i sprained my bloody hand.

i still could manage everything my own.

for the next two years,

i will be facing my next most difficult time of my life.

for the route i chose,

it came with a huge responsibility

which i may say probably no one else can understand it.

and because this two years are very important for me,

i can't let anyone hinder me or to be controlled.

the more the people don't expect from me,

the more i have to show them.

definately, realizing dream isn't easy.

for each dream comes with its own pressure.

and my pressure doesn't only come from work

but from my own expectations and my family too.

i have never gotten support from my family at all.

i was alone and i am still alone.

of course, for the next two years,

it will be good if there was someone to be there with me.

at least i know, when i meet with failure, when i meet with difficulties

there's always this someone whom

i can lay on his shoulders, wipe away my tears, hug me and giving me comfort, pet my head and say "serene, don't worry. there's always a solution to everything, things will be fine again. let's solve it together."

but it was never meant to be...

because if he were an additional pressure,

i can't accept it.

i am so filled up with things

i have no room to think and worry of anything else.

i don't have the energy.

it's not a nice game to play.

i don't want to waste time thinking of things

that are unreasonable and illogical.

i would rather choose to walk away then.

because if there isn't comfort,

i can still cry underneath my blanket.

i can still get comfort from my soft toys.

i can't afford another burden.

i am not a puppet.

i don't want to be a puppet.

since from the day i was borned

i didn't have the choice to choose the kind of route i want to take

the kind of things i want to do

the kind of life i want to lead

the kind of things i want to learn

and finally, this is my breakthrough

i don't want to go back to being a puppet.

if you can't, it's better off releasing me.

11:08 AM

sometimes, i really don't understand how people works.

i appreciate some initiative

when i take the initiative to contact you,

why couldn't you just give me an answer.

and i even had to ask for 3 days before i got one!

and by the time i got one, it was too late already.

how can you be trusted this way?

so what if i sprained my bloody hand.

i still could manage everything my own.

for the next two years,

i will be facing my next most difficult time of my life.

for the route i chose,

it came with a huge responsibility

which i may say probably no one else can understand it.

and because this two years are very important for me,

i can't let anyone hinder me or to be controlled.

the more the people don't expect from me,

the more i have to show them.

definately, realizing dream isn't easy.

for each dream comes with its own pressure.

and my pressure doesn't only come from work

but from my own expectations and my family too.

i have never gotten support from my family at all.

i was alone and i am still alone.

of course, for the next two years,

it will be good if there was someone to be there with me.

at least i know, when i meet with failure, when i meet with difficulties

there's always this someone whom

i can lay on his shoulders, wipe away my tears, hug me and giving me comfort, pet my head and say "serene, don't worry. there's always a solution to everything, things will be fine again. let's solve it together."

but it was never meant to be...

because if he were an additional pressure,

i can't accept it.

i am so filled up with things

i have no room to think and worry of anything else.

i don't have the energy.

it's not a nice game to play.

i don't want to waste time thinking of things

that are unreasonable and illogical.

i would rather choose to walk away then.

because if there isn't comfort,

i can still cry underneath my blanket.

i can still get comfort from my soft toys.

i can't afford another burden.

i am not a puppet.

i don't want to be a puppet.

since from the day i was borned

i didn't have the choice to choose the kind of route i want to take

the kind of things i want to do

the kind of life i want to lead

the kind of things i want to learn

and finally, this is my breakthrough

i don't want to go back to being a puppet.

if you can't, it's better off releasing me.

11:08 AM
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